Like this one which says “You will not die alone.” (She contemplates that sticker) This one is dark. (She sniffles) (She rallies) But I have others! Sadly) Sometimes the stickers don’t work. (She puts the other sticker on herself and looks at it. Sometimes you need to have someone believe in you, even if you’re the only person who believes in you.Įven if everyone else thinks you’re a loon, and thinks you’ll never make it, and says that your sticker idea is dumb and you’ll never amount to anything and you should’ve never left Bemidji and you’re going to fail in a blaze of fire and you will die alone. This is just the prototype actually, but… there are other stickers, like this one that says “I believe in you!” Yes! Sometimes you need that.
MONOLOGUE FOR AUDITION SKIN
(She takes the sticker off and puts it on her arm) It doesn’t really stick as well to skin because that’s not how stickers work, but I’m working on that, Like this one if you need to remind yourself of your capabilities! It says “You can do it!” (She puts the sticker on herself)īut of course you can’t read it if you put it on your shirt, so you need to put it somewhere else so I’m actually going to take the sticker off and put it here. So what I decided to do was make these stickers! Yes I did! And these stickers come in packs of twelve and you can put them on things! Nooooo.’ (She growls like the Hulk and rallies, talking really fast) I’m not listening to you.’ ‘That’s why you fail.’ ‘No. You can do this.’ ‘Everyone was right about you.’ She hisses to herself) ‘Get it together, Joyce. My name is Joyce, and sometimes with the daily trauma in our lives we need a little something to… a pick-me-up. Hello Sharks! (Takes another moment) Hello Sharks. (She shivers and twitches) Can I start over please? (She starts over) Actually you probably already know that from what the Voice said so why am I bothering to say it again? I always do this – as soon as I have a chance at doing something great I screw it up. (She is trying to hold it together) I mean a pick-me-up. (She takes a deep breath) Sometimes with all of the trauma we are experiencing on a daily basis, we need something that’s a little bit of a stick-me-up. ( JOYCE, a nervous inventor presenting her idea to investors) Look, I gotta run.īut before I go, I just want to say that I hope all the guys who are sitting here tonight with a girl named Heidi, wake up tomorrow morning with a Desiree. I sort of like being called Scotty, besides it’s better than my middle name – Doug. Right before middle age sets in, Cindys become Harriet, or Beatrice, they have that option.Īll Wendy’s die at puberty. It sounds like she should be chewing gum and skipping rope. Have you ever met a seventy year old woman named Judy? If I had been called Judy, I’d have to change my name when I stopped wearing bangs. You’ve never heard of a child being called Yvonne, have you? Then one day, probably on their 21st birthday- wham- Veronica, Yvonne, Desiree.
They skip their way into high school, getting A’s in Home Ec. They all wear pink dirndls with little white aprons. How many grown women do you know named Heidi? All the Heidis I know are about 8 years old with long blond braids down their backs. Oh, by the way, the part about all Heidis having to change their names when they lose their virginity, I didn’t lie about that. Would you have? There’s a Heidi nodding her head. They tried calling me Judy for a while but I just wouldn’t respond. My father just stared, “he can’t be my boy.” I was in stitches. In fact, I was a boy until my mother changed my diapers for the first time. You see, when I was born the doctor was either far-sighted or a prankster, because as I popped out, I remember it vividly, he declared “it’s a boy.”
Am I embarrassed or what? Actually, I lied to you. Look at these girls over here all rustling through their programs. Everyone named Heidi must change their name when they lose their virginity. I know what you’re all thinking… How come she has a boy’s name? Actually my real name is Heidi.īut I had to change it when I lost my virginity. ALL KIDDING ASIDEĪ monologue from the play by Charles Johnson You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown 20 Super Funny Comedic Monologues For Teenage Females From Plays 1. Puffs, Or Seven Increasingly Eventful Years At A Certain School Of Magic And Magic Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead 20 Super Funny Comedic Monologues For Teenage Females From Plays.
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